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"I bought A.J. Mahari's ebook, on Loneliness. Wow! So much insightful and informative stuff. I had not ever really thought about there being anything positive about loneliness. You taught me so much. I have been able to make some wonderful changes in my life because your ebook helped me to learn that the place to start was with my attitude toward and thoughts about loneliness. Thanks so much A.J. and may God continue to bless all the work that you do."

-- Sue Johnson, Australia

"A.J., your ebook about Verbal Abuse helped me to realize so much. I needed to know that I was placing myself in danger and that verbal abuse is not something to minimize. I also needed to know that toxic relating isn't love. Thanks so much for writing and making that ebook available."

-- Duke P., Ireland

"I didn't think anyone else could possibly know or understand what I was going through. I also didn't think anyone could be so compassionate and patient with me as A.J. Mahari was as my life coach. She gave me support, information, and tools. Tools that have enabled me to truly find myself and to set and achieve my goals. Thanks so much for everything A.J.! -- Mandy"

-- M., Ontario, Canada

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Price: $12.99

Coping with Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People Generally and During the Holidays - Toxic Relationships

Holidays tend to bring out the worst in difficult, toxic and/or abusive people. Holidays tend to challenge those who are in relationships, friendships, or who have family members who do not know how to relate in consisent or healthy ways.

© A.J. Mahari, December 2008

Published by PhoenixRising Publications

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating.

Mahari examines the reasons why so many people feel trapped in what are toxic, abusive, unhealthy relationship or friendships and what can be done to better understand how you can create the change you need, want, and desire in your life.
Mahari shares her insight as to why people end up stuck in these types of relational patterns and how you can know someone is difficult toxic and/or abusive. What if you have doubts? What if you think this person will change? Can you help this person be who you want them to be? Can you create intimacy with a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person? How can you cope with them, especially during the stressful times associated with holidays.

Mahari also talks about how you can identify the main signs that indicate someone is a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person.

Holidays intensify our feelings and often bring with them the ghosts of days - painful days gone by - that cry out from deep down inside for some expression and some relief. Holidays take us out of our every day routines. Culture in society, generally, and/or religious tradition often threaten to trap us in unrealistic expectations of dreams, wishes, and/or desires that pull strongly upon our heart strings. It is important, especially at holiday times, to be sure to make decisions about who you will spend time with and how you will strategize to cope with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people by relying on your head (reasoning) to make healthy choices - as opposed to allowing your heart to take the lead.

Tracks in this audio program include:







  • Track 1: An examination of the effect of relationships with difficult toxic and/or abusive people - fear, obligation, and guilt. The impact and consequences of unrealistic expectations that holidays can enmesh us even more in long-standing dysfunctional painful patterns of relating.
  • Track 2: How to identify the difficult toxic and/or abusive person.
  • Track 3: Intimacy - What it is and what it isn't. Can it exist with a difficult toxic and/or abusive person?
  • Track 4: Coping Strategies and Understanding Choices and How to Find Personal Freedom from a toxic relational dynamic.


All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari


"If you have Borderline Personality Disorder you have met your one true enemy -- yourself -- namely, your false self to be much more specific. This false self becomes the shadow self experienced by those with BPD. The more you deny the Shadow Self, the more likely it is that you will be blind to your own faults and find those faults in others. Denying the false self, the shadow self, in BPD, only perpetuates your pain and suffering."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Shadows and Echoes of Self - The False in BPD"

"At the heart of much of what results in relating to someone with BPD is conflict. Are you experiencing an high and/or destructive level of conflict? What is driving that conflict? Is that conflict blocking intimacy and closeness? How do you react to this conflict? Is your own behaviour deteriorating in response to the conflict generated by the borderline in your life? What is it about all of this conflict that you are investing in and why?"

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Other Side of BPD"

"Why is it that we allow so much pain and chaos to be a part of how we define love? What is it that we still need to learn so that we can free ourselves from the burden and the pain of investing in rescuing a borderline? What is it that you still need more awareness about? What are the lessons?"

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "Full Circle - Lessons For Non Borderlines"