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"I didn't think anyone else could possibly know or understand what I was going through. I also didn't think anyone could be so compassionate and patient with me as A.J. Mahari was as my life coach. She gave me support, information, and tools. Tools that have enabled me to truly find myself and to set and achieve my goals. Thanks so much for everything A.J.! -- Mandy"

-- M., Ontario, Canada

"I totally recommend that anyone who wants to really understand BPD buy A.J. Mahari's ebooks and audio programs. Along with all her stuff on the web they are even more insightful and informative. After purchasing A.J.'s products I did some life coaching with her too. A.J. doesn't just write about BPD, she has lived it. She has lived both sides of it. She is an amazing life coach too. With A.J.'s support I am making my way through the pain and grief of having loved someone with BPD and coming to terms with the reasons for the relationship and my need to let go."

-- Rick Meyers, Scotland

"I just wanted to let you know, A.J., how helpful your ebooks and audio programs have been to me. Thanks for all the hard work you do and for putting yourself and your own painful experience out there as gifts to those still trying to find their own way."

-- Donald S., U.S.A.

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People - Toxic Relationships

Price: $12.99

Coping with Difficult Toxic and/or Abusive People Generally and During the Holidays - Toxic Relationships

Holidays tend to bring out the worst in difficult, toxic and/or abusive people. Holidays tend to challenge those who are in relationships, friendships, or who have family members who do not know how to relate in consisent or healthy ways.

© A.J. Mahari, December 2008

Published by PhoenixRising Publications

In this audio program, A.J. Mahari talks about the reality of coping with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people generally with a focus on the reality that holidays bring out the worst of the worst in toxic relating.

Mahari examines the reasons why so many people feel trapped in what are toxic, abusive, unhealthy relationship or friendships and what can be done to better understand how you can create the change you need, want, and desire in your life.
Mahari shares her insight as to why people end up stuck in these types of relational patterns and how you can know someone is difficult toxic and/or abusive. What if you have doubts? What if you think this person will change? Can you help this person be who you want them to be? Can you create intimacy with a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person? How can you cope with them, especially during the stressful times associated with holidays.

Mahari also talks about how you can identify the main signs that indicate someone is a difficult, toxic and/or abusive person.

Holidays intensify our feelings and often bring with them the ghosts of days - painful days gone by - that cry out from deep down inside for some expression and some relief. Holidays take us out of our every day routines. Culture in society, generally, and/or religious tradition often threaten to trap us in unrealistic expectations of dreams, wishes, and/or desires that pull strongly upon our heart strings. It is important, especially at holiday times, to be sure to make decisions about who you will spend time with and how you will strategize to cope with difficult, toxic and/or abusive people by relying on your head (reasoning) to make healthy choices - as opposed to allowing your heart to take the lead.

Tracks in this audio program include:







  • Track 1: An examination of the effect of relationships with difficult toxic and/or abusive people - fear, obligation, and guilt. The impact and consequences of unrealistic expectations that holidays can enmesh us even more in long-standing dysfunctional painful patterns of relating.
  • Track 2: How to identify the difficult toxic and/or abusive person.
  • Track 3: Intimacy - What it is and what it isn't. Can it exist with a difficult toxic and/or abusive person?
  • Track 4: Coping Strategies and Understanding Choices and How to Find Personal Freedom from a toxic relational dynamic.


All Audio Programs are in mp3 format. All Ebooks are in PDF format. Audio Programs and Ebooks are available for electronic download only upon purchase.

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Quotes From A.J. Mahari


"At the heart of the core wound of abandonment in BPD and its impact are many factors. Central among these factors however is the pain of loss. The pain of abandonment. The loss of authentic self."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "Understanding BPD - The Lost Self - The Impact of the Core Wound of Abandonment"

"There are 10 Key Facts at the heart of Borderline Personality Disorder that every non borderline needs to understand. To begin facing the facts of BPD and what it means to the non borderline, you have to first know what the facts really are. Not just the traits that define BPD but the facts of what the experience is and why it is so painful for family members, loved ones, and relationship partners."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Audio Program, "Facing 10 Key Facts About BPD - For Non Borderlines"

"The collective experiences compiling in the very young infant are forming an internal representation of the world. The core wound of abandonment results in the destruction of the emerging authentic self. It destroys the very essence of the developing self. Emotional growth and development are arrested as the result of failure to master early childhood developmental phases."

-- A.J. Mahari in her Ebook, "The Legacy of Abandonment in BPD"